The Really Big List of Corny Jokes
100 Hundred corny jokes at a time. Please don't forget to share your corny jokes!
Déjà MOO - The feeling you've heard this BULL before.
Q: What did the sweet potato wear to bed?
A: His pa-yam-as.
As a wizard, I like turning things into glass.
I just wanted to make that clear.
Q:What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Q: What is the difference between girl spaghetti and man spaghetti?
Q: Why did the mermaid start wearing seashells?
B: Because she out grew out of B-shells.
Q: Why was the skiing spark plug in awe?
A: The view was shocking.
Q: How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?
A: When it’s full.
A red and a blue ship have just crashed together in the Caribbean. Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Q: What do you give a cannibal that shows up late to dinner?
A: A cold shoulder.
Q: What do you call a police officer in bed?
A: An undercover cop!
Q. What does a Mexican cow call his friends?
Q: Why did the pizza maker run from the mafia?
A: He owed them a lot of dough!
Q: Why did the skeleton sleep in the snow last night?
A: He was a numbskull.
Q. What is the difference between a dirty bus station and a shrimp with breast implants?
A. One is a crusty bus station, while the other is a busty crustacean.
Q: What streets do ghosts live on?
A: Dead Ends!
Q: Why does the vampire always get picked last?
A: Because he sucks.
Q: Where do fish sleep?
A: In a water bed!
Q: What do you call the opposite of a hot pepper?
A: A little chili!
Dishes a bad joke
Q: Have you heard the Cookie Joke?
A: You wouldn't like it. It is pretty crumby!
Q: Why were you fined for reading Lord of the rings?
A: It was written by J.R.R Toll-kien.
Q: Why is the sky so unhappy?
A: It has the blues.
Q: What do you call it when a shoemaker drops his vegetables?
A: Corn on the cobbler!
Q: What is the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
A: A Hippo is really heavy, but a Zippo is a little lighter!
Q: Have you seen the movie Constipation?
A: No it has not come out yet.
Q: Can a ninja throw a star?
Q: What's a comedian on a boat sing?
A: Joooke on the water!
Q: What did one eye say to the other eye?
A: Something smells between us!
Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary?
A: Smile! Because it has a mile in it!
Did you hear Tom Brady is getting divorced?
His wife accused him of "cheating"!
Q: What do you call a magic owl?
Q: How do asteroids get so big?
A: They take A-Steroid!
Did you hear about the nun who quit? . . . she kicked her "Habit"!
Q: What's white and can't climb a tree ?
A: A Fridge
A: What's green, brown and white and can't climb a tree ?
A: A Fridge in a combat jacket
Q: What do you call a bomb that doesn't explode, but lands on a cow?
A: A milk dud.
Q: What is Dr. Jekyll when he is himself?
Q: What is the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed men on a bicycle?
Q: Why are movies stars so cool?
A: Because the have a lot of fans.
Q: A hot dog and a banana had a race, who won?
A: The wiener.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
Q: How does a lawyer get where he is going?
A: He makes A-turn-ey!
Q: What do you call a singing Laptop?
A: A Dell
A pancake, a fried egg, and a strip of bacon walk into a bar. The barman looks up and says,"Sorry, we don't serve breakfast."
Q: What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks!
Q: How do you flatten a ghost?
A: Use a spirit level.
Q: Where does the electric cord go to shop?
A: The outlet mall.
Q: Where does the lion go to shop?
A: The MAUL!
Q: What did they do with the cow that learned the whole Bible?
A: Put it out to Pastor!
Q: What do you call a man that irons clothes?
A: Iron Man
Q: How does the moon cut his hair?
A: Eclipses it!
Q. What Crime did the tree commit?
Q: What do you call a young locomotive?
A: A Trainee
Q: Why did all the kitchen staff survive the Titanic disaster?
A: Because Captain Smith watched everything but the kitchen sink.
Q: What do you feed an invisible cat?
A. Evaporated Milk.
Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A: A waist of time.
Q: Why could the bee not hear what people were saying?
A: He had wax in his ears.
I used to be addicted to soap,
but now I'm clean.
Q: Why do guys play baseball?
A: To get to first base.
Q: What did the ear of corn say to Mr. frank?
A: We can be corny, dawg!
Q: What did the first street say to the second street?
A: I'll meet you at the intersection.
Q: What do you call something that lives in the water and works fast?
A giraffe walks into a bar and goes to sleep on the floor. The bartender asks his customers, "what's that lyin' there?" The customers reply "that's not a lion, that's a giraffe."
Q: What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
A: One is USA and the other is USB.
Mr.Banana said to Mr.Apple "Hello, Mr.Apple".
The apple replied - "Holy...a talking banana".
Q: What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot.
A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says to him, "excuse me sir, but there is a steering wheel on your belt." The pirate responds, "argh they're drivin' me nuts."