Q: Why didn’t the lifeguard save the drowning hippie?
A: He was too far out.

Corniness: 

Q: Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
A: He pasta way.

Corniness: 

Do you watch star wars?
Because Yoda one for me.

Corniness: 

Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their "horns" don't work!

Corniness: 

Q: Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet?
A: Because he was always lost at C.

Corniness: 

Q: What do you call a baby queen from England?
A: Lady Gaga!

Corniness: 

Q: Why was the parrot sent out of the classroom?
A: Because he was using fowl language!

Corniness: 

The time traveler was still hungry after he took his last bite. So he went back four seconds.

Corniness: 

Q: What did the older chimney say to the younger chimney?
A: You're to young to smoke.

Corniness: 

Q: How many lips does a flower have?
A: Tulips

Corniness: 

Q: What does a peanut do when it is bored?
A: Nuttin!

Corniness: 

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