I feel sorry for shopping carts, they are always getting pushed around!

Corniness: 

The difference between "Girlfriend" and "Girl Friend" is that little space in between we call the "Friend Zone".

Corniness: 

Q: Why are E.T.’s eyes so big?
A: Because he saw his phone bill.

Corniness: 

First rule of Thesaurus Club. You don't talk, converse, discuss, speak, chat, deliberate, confer, gab, gossip or natter about Thesaurus Club.

Corniness: 

What kind of shoes does a thief wear?
Sneakers

Corniness: 

Q: Why was the pencil in the toilet?
A: It was a #2

Corniness: 

"It’s so cold!"
Go stand in the corner it’s 90 degrees.

Corniness: 

Q: Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
A: Because every play has a cast.

Corniness: 

You know my father threw a camera at me once, I still have flashbacks.

Corniness: 

Q: Why did the stoplight turn red?
A: Because it was embarrassed to be changing in the middle of the street!

Corniness: 

Q: What does Snoop Dogg wash his clothes with?
A: Blee-ach.

Corniness: 

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