Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
A: Ten-tickles.

Corniness: 

Q: Why was the pencil in the toilet?
A: It was a #2

Corniness: 

"It’s so cold!"
Go stand in the corner it’s 90 degrees.

Corniness: 

Q: Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
A: Because every play has a cast.

Corniness: 

You know my father threw a camera at me once, I still have flashbacks.

Corniness: 

Q: Why did the stoplight turn red?
A: Because it was embarrassed to be changing in the middle of the street!

Corniness: 

Q: What does Snoop Dogg wash his clothes with?
A: Blee-ach.

Corniness: 

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A: Right were you left it.

Corniness: 

Q: What did one hat say to the other?
A: You stay here. I'll go on a-head!

Corniness: 

If I had a dollar for every time someone tells me to grow up, I could build the coolest tree house ever!

Corniness: 

Q: Where does a bee sit?
A: On its bee-hind.

Corniness: 

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