I like wearing my boots when dying Easter eggs, just so I can say, I dyed with my boots on.
If I had a dollar for every time someone tells me to grow up, I could build the coolest tree house ever!
The digital clock looked at his analog mom and said: “look mom, no hands!”
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: Because he didn't have the guts to!
Q: Why did the fish get kicked out of school?
A: Cause he was caught with seaweed.
Q: What goes "ha ha ha ha, *thump*?
A: Someone laughing their head off.
Q: How do you stop a fish from smelling?
A: Cut its nose off
I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scanned it.
Q: What washes up on tiny beaches?