Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
The digital clock looked at his analog mom and said: “look mom, no hands!”
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: Because he didn't have the guts to!
Q: Why did the fish get kicked out of school?
A: Cause he was caught with seaweed.
Q: What goes "ha ha ha ha, *thump*?
A: Someone laughing their head off.
Q: How do you stop a fish from smelling?
A: Cut its nose off
I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scanned it.
Q: What washes up on tiny beaches?
Q: What do you call a fish with no eye ?