Q: Why were you fined for reading Lord of the rings?
A: It was written by J.R.R Toll-kien.

Corniness: 

Why doesn't someone invent a clear toaster so you can see how toasted your toast is while it's toasting?

Corniness: 

Did you hear the news about the corduroy pillows?
They made headlines.

Corniness: 

A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "make me one with everything."

Corniness: 

Q: What do you call a sleep walking nun?
A: A Roman Catholic!

Corniness: 

What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!

Corniness: 

Dentists make money off of people with bad teeth. Why should I trust the toothpaste they recommend?

Corniness: 

Q: Why is Peter Pan always in flight?
A: Because he Neverlands

Corniness: 

Q: What did 0 say to 8?
A: “Nice belt!”

Corniness: 

Whatever you do in life, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood...

Corniness: 

Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

A: Because the pee is silent.

Also acceptable: Because they've been extinct for 65 million years.

Corniness: 

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