Q: What do you call a computer that sings?
A: A Dell.

Corniness: 

Q: What did 0 say to 8?
A: “Nice belt!”

Corniness: 

Whatever you do in life, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood...

Corniness: 

Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

A: Because the pee is silent.

Also acceptable: Because they've been extinct for 65 million years.

Corniness: 

Q: What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
A: They both live underground, apart from the eagle.

Corniness: 

Q: What starts with a ‘P’, ends with an ‘E’ and has thousands of letters?
A: Post Office

Corniness: 

Q: What do you call a retired cowboy?
A: Deranged.

Corniness: 

Q: How did the pirate stop smoking?
A: He used the patch.

Corniness: 

What is red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.

Corniness: 

Q: Why are televisions attracted to people?
A: Because people turn them on.

Corniness: 

An old lady at the bank asked me if I could help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.

Corniness: 

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