Why doesn't someone invent a clear toaster so you can see how toasted your toast is while it's toasting?
Did you hear the news about the corduroy pillows?
They made headlines.
Q: What do you call a sleep walking nun?
A: A Roman Catholic!
What do you call a fake noodle?
Dentists make money off of people with bad teeth. Why should I trust the toothpaste they recommend?
Q: Why is Peter Pan always in flight?
A: Because he Neverlands
Q: What did 0 say to 8?
A: “Nice belt!”
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood...
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
A: Because the pee is silent.
Also acceptable: Because they've been extinct for 65 million years.