Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
A: You look flushed.

Corniness: 

Q: What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
A: They both live underground, apart from the eagle.

Corniness: 

Q: What starts with a ‘P’, ends with an ‘E’ and has thousands of letters?
A: Post Office

Corniness: 

Q: What do you call a retired cowboy?
A: Deranged.

Corniness: 

Q: How did the pirate stop smoking?
A: He used the patch.

Corniness: 

What is red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.

Corniness: 

Q: Why are televisions attracted to people?
A: Because people turn them on.

Corniness: 

An old lady at the bank asked me if I could help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.

Corniness: 

Q: What did the fruit tree say to the farmer.
A: Stop picking on me.

Corniness: 

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A: A stick.

Corniness: 

Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was intense.

Corniness: 

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