Q: Why didn't the melons get married?
A: Because they cantalope.
Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Q: Why couldn’t the two feet get along?
A: Because the both thought they were right.
Q: Why didn’t the lifeguard save the drowning hippie?
A: He was too far out.
Q: Why did the ghost ride the elevator?
A: To lift his spirits!
Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
A: You look flushed.
Q: What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink?
It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground Beef!
Q. Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
A. Because if it flew over the bay it would be called a bagel!