Q: What caused the airline to go bankrupt.
A: Runway inflation!
Q: What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
A: If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
Q: Where does Napoleon keep his armies?
A: In his sleevies!
Q: What do you call a cow with Tourette Syndrome?
A: Beef jerky.
A seal walked into a club.
Q: What's worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A: Being shot in the head
Q: What would you call this country if everyone had a pink car?
A: A pink carnation!
Q: Why was the dog thrown out of the butcher shop?
A: He was caught chop-lifting.
A man walks into a bar.
He is an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.