Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A: Anyone can roast beef but no one can pea soup.
Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because he felt crummy!
Q: What was Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Q: Why were the strawberries upset?
A: They were in a jam.
Somebody threw a Pepsi at me today. It didn't hurt. Thank God it was a soft drink.
Some bacon, eggs, and toast walk into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast".
Q: What's worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A: Being shot in the head
Q: What do you call an herb that sings?
A: Elvis Parsley.