What do you call a fake noodle?
Q: Why was the little strawberry crying?
A: Because his parents were in a jam.
Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere.
Q: What did the mayonaise say when someone opened the refrigerator door.
A: Close the door I am dressing!
A man walks into a bar and there is a bunch of meat hanging from the ceiling. The man asks the bartender what's the deal with the meat and the bartender explains that if you jump and slap a piece of meat, you get to drink free for the night, but if you miss, you must buy drinks for everyone in the bar. The man responds, "Nah, the steaks are too high."
What happened to the boy who drank 8 cokes?
He burped 7-Up.